Your body and nervous system need TIME and SAFETY!
WHY IS THAT?
If you’ve found your way to me, there’s a good chance you’re dealing with something or someone in your life that’s making things difficult or uncomfortable for you. Often, the underlying issues causing these uncomfortable feelings stem from conditioning or trauma.
These may stem from your childhood or other periods in your life – such as school or relationships, for example – and the truth lies deeply buried within your body. Meanwhile, you are also protected by your inner critic and your inner guardians. They arose for a reason and once kept you safe. Even now, they are still doing their job, although it’s probably no longer really necessary. It’s not wrong; you’re simply not aware of it! Or perhaps you do notice it, but you don’t know how to change it.
All of this means that, because of these dynamics, you react to just about everything in life in this way.
There’s a chance you’re experiencing more and more of all sorts of problems, such as stress, an inability to relax, sleep disorders, anxiety, mental health issues, addiction(s), eating disorders, headaches, (unexplained) physical pain, dissociation, breathing difficulties and so on.
YES, THE LIST IS LONG!
So, if you come to see me because you want to explore something (or several things) with me, please be aware that it will take some time. Your system really does need time first. Time to get to know me, and the environment it finds itself in. To see how it will feel, react, and so on. Only when it feels safe enough to be a little more vulnerable will it open up a little more. Only then, and only then!! Feeling safe isn’t something that happens in your head. Your nervous system senses when it has been given enough time and space to determine where and with whom it feels safe enough to step outside its comfort zone, step by step.
I hope you can imagine that this rarely happens in the first session, and usually not in the second either.
As I said, YOUR SYSTEM NEEDS TIME.
It often happens that people come to me and, at first, feel that it isn’t working or that it isn’t doing what they expect. It’s not a QUICK FIX. When I explain this to them, they say, “Of course, I understand,” and yet after one or two sessions they stop coming. Either because they’re still experiencing the problems they came for, or because they’ve realised they need to take their time and end up burying their heads in the sand.
Another reason might be fear. As soon as the nervous system even senses that something is about to happen or that there is even the possibility of change, it will, through its protective mechanisms, immediately put up resistance and start giving reasons why this isn’t a good idea. It’s important to become aware of this. Until then, you’re simply at the mercy of the fear that has arisen at a certain moment in your life, rather than acting from your own authentic self.
As a result, many people even go in search of something else that might resolve their uncomfortable feelings, such as a different relationship, a different home, a different job, and so on. Or they may even stay where they are, despite knowing that they are utterly miserable there, slowly wasting away until they end up suffering from the all-too-familiar burnout.
The fact is, it won’t go away! When you encounter that uncomfortable resistance, that is the moment when you are allowed to move through it. At your own pace and with guidance, of course, but through it. There is no other way. Through the darkness and transforming it into light.
The resistance we feel is linked to the shadow(s). These are points – or triggers – within us that show us what we need to learn. So, move through the shadow, through the darkness. That is where the treasure lies: the light. That part which is part of our authentic self and brings love. More and more love. This process is what is meant by the word ‘transformation’.
You can imagine that this is an authentic and individual process for everyone, and that you therefore really do have to go through it yourself. The fact that you have to go through it yourself does not mean you have to do it alone. It is essential to feel supported, heard, seen and safe when you are doing shadow work. In difficult, heavy and painful moments, you are even allowed to feel carried for a while.
On my homepage, you’ll find the following text:
Connection, deepening, improvement, and relief from whatever is weighing heavily on you and preventing you from fully living your unique path. I’d love to support you with love in this generous and courageous exploration of the truth within yourself and in moving forward from there. The truth that feels right for you! That resonates in your heart!
This is where I guide you with lots of love, space and attention.
